As often happens in life, we become so busy we fail to notice the years flying by. When we do stop to look around, we may realize we are basically in the same place we were years ago. This can be disheartening, but we should be grateful we stopped to look around. Now we can do something about it.
It takes courage to break free from old patterns. We know them, they keep us comfortable, and rarely do they challenge us emotionally. In a way, old patterns chain us in place preventing us from moving toward a life of true value.
Oftentimes the people around us want us to remain as we are to preserve their level of comfort. We do this because they claim to love us, and we need their approval to maintain our self-esteem. At first it seems like a win-win for everyone.
Then comes the day we realize we are not living the life we had once imagined. When this happens we are flooded with conflicting emotions. One of the most powerful may be self-hatred. We hate ourselves because we chose to remain in place to please others and receive what we thought was love for our sacrifice.
The thing is, any time we realize we have limited our growth to make others happy is a watershed moment, if, we are strong enough to make a move toward a healthier life. That’s the challenge, to understand that we are holding ourselves back to please those around us. Then we must choose to set ourselves free to see how far we can go.
We want the love others provide, but this love has conditions. As long as we remain small, we will feel their love. Our fear is losing this love because we want to be free from the chains of conditional love. But we must break free if we want to live to the fullness of who we are meant to be.
Yet through all this, we fail to realize the eternal source of unconditional love found deep within our being. It is this love that encourages us to look up from our busy life in the first place. It is this love that encourages us to break free from our self-imposed bondage. It is this love that will guide us when we feel we have lost sight of the path ahead.
One of the reasons we choose to remain held captive by these chains is our fear of going it alone. Then the frightening thought of walking away from the only source of love we have found in the outside world.
Even though we know the road before us will be better for us than our imprisonment, we may be too afraid to walk away. Our belief is that an unhealthy love is better than no love at all. This is why we may stay with those who love us as long as we accept their conditions.
If we want to know the truth of who we are, and live by this truth, we must dig deep to uncover our self-love so we are not chained to those who impose limitations on their love for us. We then love ourselves enough to look into the abyss of the unknown. Then walk courageously toward that threshold into a new self-loving way of life, where we are accepted for who we are. Not for a version of ourselves that does not align with our authentic truth.
The crux of this journey is knowing, really knowing, that we have the strength, stamina, and self-love to make this transition happen. We cannot allow others to stop our journey. Nor can we permit them to hold us back because of the hollow threat of withholding their love as a form of punishment.
It makes no difference how many years have passed before we realize we are chained in place. Transformation has no expiration date. Any day is the right day to break free from old patterns of thought and behavior. All that is needed is a desire to experience an eternal source of unconditional love. A love that will be found deep within our own being.
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Have you broken free from the chains of old, unhealthy patterns? Let me know what you think. Leave a comment below. I’m always open to reading your point of view.
Each week I email an article to those who have subscribed to m y weekly. This week I ask if we are direction our life, or if we are being blown by the wind without direction. Here is an excerpt.
If we allow the world to push us along, we are then giving the world permission to define us. We may not like society’s definition of who we are, but we have made that choice by having no self-responsibility. Our lives will be the way they are because we have chosen to be blown by the wind instead of committing to anything of value.
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It is with much gratitude I thank you for being a part of this wonderful adventure called life. I appreciate your support.
Peace and well-being, Paul
Copyright Paul Hudon 2024
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