What roles do we play in life? Unusual question, but here is an example. I’m a husband, writer, younger brother, older brother, son, friend, swimmer, and motorcyclist among others. Each has a different role, a different persona. Yet do these roles represent the truth of who I am?
The thing about the roles we play, is the other people in our life expect a certain person when we are in these roles. I’m expected to play the role of the younger brother when I’m with my older siblings. This role would not fit with my motorcycle buddies, they expect to see my motorcyclist persona. Neither of these roles would fit when at home with my partner. She expects a version of who I am that aligns more closely with my inner truth.
I’m not saying these other roles are a lie. I’m saying these roles may have been created as a way to please others so we can feel accepted, even loved. The thing is, we all play different roles to suit the situation. Are we fake when we behave this way? Of course not. I think the desire to be liked by others runs so deep we often change who we are to feel accepted.
This is all fine until the day we realize we can’t play these roles any longer. We want to be authentic all the time and these roles prevent us from doing so. The challenge begins when those who expect a certain role, a certain persona, don’t get who they want to see.
Most people want to see us for who we were. This is true when we visit friends or family we haven’t seen for a few years. They want to hang out with who they remember us to have been. When we arrive in alignment with our authentic truth, they may not like who we have become.
Shedding roles and connecting with the truth of who we are is not easy work. We must question many of the beliefs we have been taught through the course of life. This can be challenging because much of our life may have been built around these beliefs.
Another challenge with living authentically, is we are comfortable with the roles we play. We may play the victim, the know-it-all, the smart guy, even the tough girl. These roles may help us gain acceptance, yet this acceptance could feel hollow because it is not based on our truth. It could be we are too afraid to seek our authenticity because we may lose friendships and the support of those who bought into our role. We would rather play the role than be alone, striving to be true to ourselves.
The question becomes, who do we see when we look in the mirror? Our true self or a persona we created to play a role? The trouble is the longer we adhere to the role, the harder it will be to take off the mask. Why? Because we are comfortable in the role, and we know what is expected of us. We fail to realize that at some point we will have lived an entire life denying our truth to ourselves and those around us.
Many of the roles we play were created as a way to feel something we may not feel within ourselves. Our hope is that if we play a certain role long enough we will eventually feel a sense of love from those for whom we perform. Yet in living this way we are asking others to love us in a way they cannot.
This is why we continue to modify our persona. We hope we can morph into someone who will feel fulfilled through the acceptance of others. All the while we are looking for love in all the wrong places.
When we finally realize we have sacrificed our true self and the love that comes with this truth, we can begin the process of peeling away the layers of personas we once thought would grant us the love we sought from others.
As we grow into our authentic self, our self-love will strengthen as well. It is here we have the courage to be our true self no matter what situation we are in. Our actions will always align with this authenticity. Even though we may fear what those who knew us may think or say, speaking our truth is more Important than stepping back into a role that will make them comfortable.
One thing to remember, anyone who is asking us to play a role to please them, is playing a role that is trying to control us. They believe that if we maintain our role, they will be happy in their role.
The longer we play our role, or ask others to play one to please us, we are separating ourselves from our own self-love. The best we can do for ourselves and those we claim to love, is to shed our roles so we can begin to live an authentic life powered by the love found within us.
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Is it possible to look within ourselves with the intention of examining the roles we play? Are these roles authentic? Let me know what you think. Leave a comment below. I’m always interested in hearing your point of view.
Here is a list of upcoming events and workshops I’ll be involved with.
December 7th Holistic Healing and Psychic Faire, Hosted by, A Little Bit of Kindness.
10:00am-4:00pm
Midtown Event Center 158 S. Second St.
Sierra Vista, AZ.
I’ll be selling books as well as speaking about the freedom we receive from unconditional love. If you are searching for your people, this is the place to be.
December 14th Author Talk
1:00pm
Patagonia Public Library
Patagonia, AZ.
I’ll be discussing writing, spirituality, and connecting with our inner voice.
If you have never been to Patagonia, AZ. it’s worth a visit.
January 11th Charting the New Year
1:00-3:00 $30:00
A Little Bit of Kindness www.alittlebitofkindness.org
7730 E. Alhambra Dr.
Sierra Vista, AZ.
Learn to use a chart to manifest your dreams and goals for the upcoming New Year.
January 25th Sacred Space Journaling Workshop
Strega 214-790-5427 flyingmonkeys@stregashop.com
11:00-12:30 or 1:00-2:30 Two sessions choose which one works best for you. $30:00
157 N. Coronado Dr.
Sierra Vista, AZ.
The intention of this journaling workshop is to begin a dialogue with your higher self. Thereby allowing you to find guidance and answers to help you live to the fullness of who you are.
This workshop has sold out in the past. Call or email Strega to register.
Thanks for being a part of this wonderful adventure called life. I enjoy your company.
Peace and well-being, Paul
Copyright © Paul Hudon 2024
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