It’s not easy to walk away. For many of us, we have been taught to stick it out, work through it, suck it up. In living this way we shrink, crushed under the weight of sacrificing our well-being to satisfy the opinions of others.
Walking away from a relationship can be a touchy subject. People don’t want to believe their behavior may be the reason we chose to walk. Yet they fail to accept their role in the outcome. Walking away means we are walking away from something or someone. Usually when we walk we are blamed.
Why is it we cannot grasp the concept of creating a safe environment for those around us to speak freely. Are we so immature we don’t want to hear what is making others miserable? Is it because we are uncomfortable with who we are, we choose to ignore what another person is feeling?
Oftentimes walking away is a last resort, we have no other options, no one wants to hear us, so we walk. Yet we walk because we may not be secure in our own selves to speak honestly. We may believe that blame will be placed on us for waiting too long before we sought a resolution. This may be true, although if we felt safe and heard in the relationship, we would have spoken up for ourselves sooner.
It does not end with walking away. We often have to look within ourselves to find the root cause of our behavior. I had a pattern of walking away, when I noticed the pattern I began the inner work to uncover the reason. I discovered I didn’t love who I was enough to speak up for myself. I remained silent as a way to maintain the acceptance of those involved.
My thought was if they accepted me, I had value. Yet I never felt enough acceptance to support my self-worth. I was looking in the wrong place for acceptance and worth. I have since learned I must look within myself for what I was asking of others.
It’s a hard lesson to learn that those who claim to love us will only love us if we follow their conditions. As long as I behaved a certain way, I was accepted, but as soon as I questioned their behavior, I was the problem. Their condition was for me to remain silent and fall in line.
Yet how many of us live this way? Are we asking others to validate our existence? In doing so we are valuing the opinions of others over what we know to be true and right for us. We must learn to love ourselves so deeply that what others think of us is none of our business. Their opinion of who we are, or who we should be, is not to be used as a guidebook of who we are becoming.
When we walk away from someone or something, we are leaving a part of ourselves behind. The part that was unsure of who we were. The part that needed validation from others. This part of us does not serve our higher good, it only weighs us down. Shedding this aspect of our persona, frees us to move forward with a clear idea of who we are meant to be.
Although if we want to grow from the experience, we must take the time to review our behavior. The intention is to see if we can develop more self-love, more inner strength, and more resolve to be true to ourselves.
As we grow emotionally we are more courageous to speak our truth before walking away. Of course speaking up ahead of time is best, but it is not always easy. If we do speak up, then get punished for doing so, at least we did our part. There is the possibility our words will be used against us. If so, we have no choice but to walk away.
If this is how it unfolds, then those around us do not want to hear what we have to say. It may threaten them. We may love them, they may claim to love us, but the difference of opinion may be too great to overcome. Then walking is a viable option.
We walk away because we may have no other choice. We walk because we are tired of living in silence to keep others comfortable. We walk away because we know the unknown is healthier for us than remaining in a toxic relationship. We walk because we know our life has value, even if others deny it.
In the long run, walking away is a powerful act of self-love, although we may not know it at the time. All we know is for our survival we must take action, even if it means walking away into the unknown.
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Has walking away been the only option in your life? Let me know what you think. Leave a comment or question below. I’m always open to exploring the subject further.
Each week I email an article to those who have subscribed to my weekly. This week I wrote about overthinking. Here is an excerpt.
Overthinking takes our attention away from the here and now. We are too deep in our overthinking to hear our inner voice, too distracted to see a way off our mental merry-go-round, too absorbed in trying to control the uncontrollable we miss being present. We lose ourselves in the unhealthy cycle of overthinking.
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Special thanks.
Since March of 2019 I have been a monthly columnist for Conscious Shift Magazine. Through my tenure, I have become friends with publisher Tracey Kern. After twelve years at the helm of CSM, Tracey has decided it’s time for a change.
The December issue will be the last issue of Conscious Shift. It brings a tear to my eye because I thoroughly enjoyed writing for such a forward thinking publisher. Thank you Tracey for believing in my writing.
I wish Tracey and her partner the very best in the future. I know Tracey well enough to know she will continue doing what she can to shift consciousness. Best of luck my friend.
Earlier this summer I had the pleasure of being a guest on Todd Fischer’s Podcast, “Quest.” Todd and I spoke about spirituality, intuition, and how I went from being a carpenter to becoming a spiritual author. Below you will find the Apple link, but you can also find our conversation on other podcast platforms, just search Todd Fischer Quest Podcast.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/paul-hudon/id1518589937?i=1000630221832
If you are interested in purchasing a copies of my book, “Your Inner Guidance, The Path to Discovering Your True Happiness”, or my award winning book, “A Complete Life, Discovering Your Authentic Self,” click the link. https://linktr.ee/paulhudon
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It is with much gratitude I thank you for being a part of this wonderful adventure called life, I appreciate your support.
Peace and well-being, Paul
Copyright Paul Hudon 2023
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