It’s easy going through life pointing the finger of blame at everyone who has ever said a bad word, or done a bad deed. We judge so quickly, then we move on to our next target. Behaving this way maintains a sense of euphoria because our judgement gives us a feeling of superiority. We are pleased with ourselves because we have called out others on their bad behavior. This feeling of superiority is often short-lived so we continue to act this way without much thought.
If we look closely we notice it is always the fault of someone else. In this way we set into motion a behavioral pattern that sees others as wrong but we refuse to self-reflect to uncover if we are as perfect as we think we are.
Self-reflection is not easy, although it is an essential part of living a truthful life. It’s not easy because we are asked to look into our soul to see what is reflected back to us. We must be honest with ourselves otherwise we will continue to blame others thereby avoiding our responsibility for authentic self-transformation.
As we stare into the mirror of our soul we will see times when we did not behave appropriately, yet we still chose to blame others. Have we turned our trauma into a battle cry for pity? Is our pain something we shove in the faces of others who are trying their best to do their inner work with honesty and self-love?
Yet the intention of self-reflection is to regain control of our lives. When we judge or blame others we are focusing our attention on their behavior. We fail to realize that in doing so we lose control of ourselves emotionally. As a result we are not trying to understand our own behavior nor do we realize the emotional damage we are causing.
If we refuse to self-reflect, we are limiting the way we go through life. We believe it’s always the fault of others, and we have no responsibility for the outcome. But this is not always the case. For healing to begin we must look within ourselves to understand why we refuse to accept responsibility for our actions.
It takes courage to self-reflect because when we do take the deep dive we may see aspects of our actions that make us uncomfortable. Times when we said or did hurtful things with no regard for the feelings of others. We may also notice how wrong we were when we judged those around us. We could see times when we said hurtful words just to make ourselves feel better about ourselves.
Most people don’t want to self-reflect because they may see themselves differently than who they show to the world. To be honest with ourselves is not always easy, and at times can be emotionally painful. Yet through the inner work of self-reflection, we come closer to knowing our true selves. Again, we must be honest with ourselves otherwise the same harmful patterns will continue to control our lives.
Think of self-reflection as wiping the dust and cobwebs off the mirror of our soul. The harder we work at clearing away the dirt and grime, the more we begin to recognize who we truly are. In time we will be able to see ourselves in a new light. Not as a person who is trying to elevate their self-worth through ridiculing others, but a person who loves themselves enough to do the difficult work of self-reflection, so healing from past wounds can begin.
When we notice our finger of blame and judgement being pointed at others, we need to point that finger at ourselves because no one is more responsible for our happiness than we are. No amount of judgement, blame, or ridicule will ever equal the feeling of self-love we receive when we do the inner work of honest and true self-reflection.
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Are we strong enough to honestly self-reflect to see if our behavior is in alignment with our self-love? Let me know what you think. Leave a comment below. I’m always interested in hearing your point of view.
I’m excited to announce I’ll be hosting my “Creating a Sacred Space Journaling Workshop” July 12th from 11am – 1pm at Strega, 157 N. Coronado Drive, Sierra Vista, AZ.
The intention of this journaling workshop is to help you create a sacred space where you can connect with your Higher Self and hear its loving guidance. If you would like more information reach out to me, or to register call, 214-790-5427 or email Strega at, flyingmonkeys@strregashop.com The cost is $30.00.
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Thank you for being a part of this wonderful adventure called life, I appreciate your company.
Peace and well-being, Paul
Copyright Paul Hudon 2025
A couple of things spoke to me as I read through your article Paul.
I never realised the act of blaming the other is an emotional drive that we get addicted to. It’s anxiety driven that never ends.
Self forgiveness seems to be a huge part of my awareness of late. To befriend the self, the ego and the spiritual self seems to be a priority for me. As I see and become less afraid of the Ego/ fear, there is a space for allowing the cross over to occur. It’s a Stillness of surrender, of accepting this is the journey of all mankind, to be at peace with the spiritual self.
When we blame others we attach ourselves to the emotion of anger. It is this feeling that becomes addictive. It becomes easier to maintain this addictive feeling than it does break the cycle by doing the difficult work of self-reflection. The Ego wants to blame, and will do everything it can to prevent us from taking the time to self-reflect. Our true selves know that looking within will be the path to emotional freedom. But we must be courageous enough to do so.
Peace and well-being. Paul