If you have ever tried to do anything outside your comfort zone, you know the voice of your inner critic. That voice of doom and gloom that says you’ll fail, make a fool of yourself, or you will be terrible. This voice can be so convincing that many of our dreams and goals never come to fruition.

Yet why do we even have an inner critic? Where does this come from? Surely it’s not a part of our true selves. The real questions are why do we allow this voice to control us, and why do we shrink when this voice speaks?

The painful thing about our inner critic is this voice has been taught to us by those around us, as well as those who claim to love us. That’s a tough realization when we see that many people we are taught to trust, teach us that we are not worthy of living an amazing life.

Think of a time when a teacher we trusted told us we would never amount to anything. They may not have had any understanding of what we were struggling with emotionally, but little did they know they have planted the first seeds of self-doubt. In doing so our inner critic was born.

Could it have been a parent who did what they could to protect us, only to limit the options available to us? Were they projecting their fear of failure on us so we wouldn’t try to follow our heart? Of course they thought they were looking out for our best interest, but in doing so they added fuel to our inner critic.

The world is full of those who’ll tell us our dreams and goals are a bad idea. But when we look closer, we notice that these people have not pursued their own dreams. Is it because if we follow our heart, they will feel bad about themselves because they didn’t take the risk to see how far they could go? No one wants to be left behind, maybe this is one reason those around us don’t encourage us to cross the threshold into the unknown.

In a way our inner critic wants us to fail, because that justifies its existence. This critical voice can’t wait to shout, “I TOLD YOU SO.” But to succeed, failure is part of the process. No great accomplishment has ever gone perfectly from start to finish. There was failure but oftentimes these failures are never seen by the outside world.

I think of failure as a question that asks me, “How badly do I want it?” I’ve also learned that if my inner critic is urging me to quit, I know I’m on the right track. Sure I have days when my self-doubt and negative self-talk are so strong I question my journey. Then I remember the reason I started in the first place; To see how far I can go in every aspect of my life.

One thing we forget is the strength to silence our inner critic will be found in the love we have for ourselves. The question becomes, can we love ourselves enough to silence our inner critic? When we think about it, our inner critic is a part of us that doesn’t feel secure enough to look into the uncertainty surrounding the goals we want to accomplish. In a nutshell, our inner critic is afraid of the unknown. It wants us to stay small, rather than try something new and different.

To walk into the unknown, knowing it’s the right thing to do takes self-love. We love ourselves enough to give ourselves the best opportunity to succeed at anything we set out to accomplish. We also need courage and stamina because the road ahead may be long and unpredictable.

As we learn to silence our inner critic we will connect with a part of us that has always been urging us forward. This is our inner truth. Once we align with this truth, nothing can stop us from achieving our dreams and goals.

In this place of strength we tap into the tremendous power of our self-love. A force of love so formidable we can walk into the unknown, knowing that everything that happens to us will make us stronger and more resilient in the future. Our inner critic may still be there, but now has zero influence on our lives, except to let us know when we are headed in the right direction.

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Is it possible to love ourselves so deeply we have the strength to silence our inner critic? Let me know what you think. I’m always interested in hearing your point of view.

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Thank you for being a part of this wonderful adventure called life, I appreciate your company.

Peace and well-being, Paul

Copyright Paul Hudon 2025